Since becoming a mother, I realize I've obtained special superpowers.
Like the amazing ability to leap over a child-created masterpiece Megablocks tower in a single bound.
Uncanny super hearing that rivals Lassie. I can detect the most minute toddler toot from anywhere in the house (and unfortunately due to my ridiculously good sense of smell, tell you what the tooter had for lunch).
I have such sinewy strength I've been known to hold both my kids (have you seen these two?!), one in each arm while navigating over our pup's massive pile of poop (have you seen this dog?!?!).
While I don't have X-ray vision, I've got something much better! My fierce and icy stare causes my daughter to stop in her tracks, sometimes tremble, and even cry before I've uttered a single sentence. My son, on the other hand, must wear special secret contacts, because my ghastly glance seems to have much less an effect on him.
But I do have a pretty original talent that even the Marvel heroes can't touch. I can still cut off my pee midstream faster than a speeding bullet. This is thanks to the kegel exercises recommended by my OB/GYN. He had scared me so bad into thinking after my kids were born I would not be able to walk without peeing on myself unless I performed a plethora of pelvic squeezes-like three million a day-seriously).
In fact, I saw him today for my annual exam. And I don't think it's a complete coincidence that my long of list heroic skills popped into my mind while I drove home from my doctor visit. I think I just needed a reminder of my superhuman abilities after another less-than-empowering trip to the gyno. (Perhaps I needed some affirmation after allowing a person I see just once a year poke me with ice-cold instruments in my private parts while I remain calm and try to distract us both with tales of my recent epic exploits . . . hey, I think I can add that to my superpower list too. Take that, Hulk.